Jealous?

I love to sing. I have always identified myself as a singer. My exfriend, Amy is a singer too. We were in the same choir and she got the only solo- I was upset I didn’t get it, but my range is no longer first soprano. We grew apart and by that I mean she kicked me to the curb. I can give examples… But I am really trying not to be bitter. ANYWAYS She and I both auditioned for the school musical… I didn’t get in, she did(choir member). One of my friends, Nick, got a small role in the musical. And I am really happy for him, his voice has really improved and he deserves the role. I also have some friends working behind the scenes in tech crew. All of my friends want me to go to the musical. Normally it would be right up my ally. I wanted to go to the musical last year but couldn’t because I was busy.  I should go, support my friends, and have a good time…BUT the thought of it makes my stomach churn. I am fine with not getting in, I am fine that my friend got in, happy even, I am not fine that Amy got in. Why? Am I jealous? I wanted a role, but I am fine with not getting one, Have a lot on my plate anyways. But I can’t stand the thought of seeing her there.  Like she’s mocking me. Reminding me she’s better than me…idk. Am I jealous or what? Why do I care?

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