A hard time for me

There was a time when I felt like my core being had been ripped from me. I love to write and to sing, but at the time I didn’t feel good enough. I don’t know why, I had always been confident before and nothing horribly embarrassing happened. Just woke up one day and I felt like I had been living a lie. I am not a good singer, I love to sing, but I can’t. I felt like that sentence was on replay in my head. It hurt, the thing I always go to make myself feel better I couldn’t do right. But that was who I am, then all the sudden it was gone. Maybe I was comparing myself to others when it came to music, but the same happened for writing and I don’t have anyone to compare myself to there. Maybe it was because I had just had a falling out with who I thought was my best friend and felt bad because no one else wanted to be my friend. I’ll be honest, I am that annoying girl who sings in the hallways. I used to sing because it made me happy, but during this time I felt like I was singing to fill a void. The empty part when my friend should be talking, instead of pointing and laughing at me when she thinks I don’t notice. Then I read this http://www.diaryforteens.com/mydiary/ (if it isn’t there search the climb by Emmalie ostler-Miller) I realized that other people had problems too. Again I don’t know why this made a difference, I just woke up one day and the weight was gone. Full disclosure I am nervous now about singing in front of people during choir practice,(It doesn’t feel like anyone is listening in the halls) but I don’t dwell on not being a good singer. Writing wise I am fine with others reading my work, as long as I feel it is ready. If you are going through a hard time remember that you are important and that the longer you persevere the closer you are to better day.

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